Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
