She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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