i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
