Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
