...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
