your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
this must be what syphilis tastes like
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
