I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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