Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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