So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
