did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize