Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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