well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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