so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
