Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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