Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
