i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
