At least make sure they are 18
Why
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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