Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
