I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
