tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
