Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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