yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize