I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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