It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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