i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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