Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
So apparently I’m into choking now
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