omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
