Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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