how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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