So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
and you fell through a lawn chair
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
