Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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