is your mom at the bar?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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