something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
