if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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