just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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