I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
