how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
