ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
