Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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