please come you make the beer taste better
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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