the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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