i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
