eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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