Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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