GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
