she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
