If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
