I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Oh god it's open bar.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
