Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
