Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
