my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
he just fucked me for my cheese.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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